Senior Living Care Blog

What To Do When Aging Parents Won't Listen

Posted by Joe Gilmore on Jun 13, 2019 11:00:00 AM

Aging can cause lapses and in judgment and this can prove to be not only problematic but sometimes unsafe for your aging parents. For example, your loved one or aging parent and may think that their driving skills are still up to par when, in reality, their eyesight may make it dangerous for them to be on the road. Furthermore, things like diet, housing, and medication can all lead to dangerous problems.


Despite this problem, when a child of an aging parent raises concerns, parents may be apprehensive or even hostile when talking about some of their potential shortcomings. In fact, research shows that about 77 percent of adult children believe that their parents are stubborn about taking advice or getting help with problems that they may be facing. Results from the study demonstrated that adult children thought their parents were resisting to assistance or advice. Moreover, aging parents also self-perceived themselves as acting this way.


What To Do When Talking To Aging Parents

Aging parents sitting together and looking at the outdoor scenery

When you are trying to speak with your parent and they are being stubborn, there are some ways that you can improve the situation and maybe even persuade them to see your point of view and usher in some change.


Take A Step Back

Sometimes you just need to accept that a parent won’t or is currently not listening. When this is the case, you should just back away from the situation. A lot of times in these scenarios, the conversation can escalate and even turn hostile. The best way to avoid this is to take set back and possibly bring the conversation up again at a later time when tempers have cooled off.


Take Blame

Sometimes, parents can be too stubborn to take advice that you know would be good for them. For example, if you know it is safer for them to stay away from behind the wheel or to quit smoking, you should probably tell them. While some will avoid this type of change, you may be able to sway them if you put blame on yourself or their grand-kids. A simple “Do it for me.” can go a long way toward making changes.


Be Understanding

Some of the changes that you are asking them to make can be hard to come to terms with. If you are looking to move your parent into an assisted living facility, they may be completely against it which can be frustrating. But you need to be able to put yourself in their shoes to try and understand it from their perspective. Would you want to move out of your house or residency, one that you may have lived in for years, to move to an unknown place? Probably not. But safety and health are extremely important at this stage, that’s why these changes are so necessary. Still, understanding more about their apprehension to change can help you sway their beliefs and point them in the right direction.


Treat Them Like Adults

These people are still your parents, you should treat them with the respect and kindness that this commands. Adults, especially your own parents, should not be infantilized. There is no need to baby them, they are still adults who are generally cognizant about what is happening.


These are a few tips that you can use next time that you feel overwhelmed or like your conversations with your aging parents aren’t getting anywhere.


Concerns With Aging Parents

An aging parent standing by the window and looking outside.

As mentioned before, there are many concerns when it comes to having an older parent. Whether you are dealing with issues related to their housing, cognitive functioning, or some other issue, chances are you are going to eventually run into a difficult conversation with your loved one or an older adult.


There are a long list of problems that can come from aging, some of these problems include the following:



A majority of seniors in the United States have some sort of medication that they are taking. While medication is supposed to and does provide alleviation to certain ailments and problems, if taken incorrectly, it can lead a number of issues. And, unfortunately, seniors can take prescriptions incorrectly more often as they age as aging can lead to confusion. Your loved one or parent may think that they didn’t take their prescription in the morning and take it at night, essentially taking two doses, or they may forget to take it entirely. Whatever the specific situation is, medication misuse is a serious issue and needs to be talked about if it becomes too much of a problem.



As mentioned before, driving is another issue that can arise in seniors. It is no secret that eyesight and reflexes seem to fade as we age, both of which can cause serious issues for someone behind the wheel. If you are worried about your loved one’s ability to stay safe on the road, it may be time to have a talk with them.



Many seniors have debilitating issues that can impede their ability, and even make it dangerous, to perform day-to-day tasks. If this is the case for your loved one, you may need to seek the help of a caregiver or assisted living facility, something that they may not be too fond or excited about. While they may feel uncomfortable at first with this, it is important to remember that their safety is the primary focus right now and that they will likely come around or adjust to the change.


Now What

Talking with your loved one or parent can be a difficult process. At times they may not want to listen and can be stubborn. When this is the case, doing things like taking a step back or trying to understand their perspective can go a long way to resolving the hostility. One major talk that comes with aging parents is about assisted living facilities. Some may be apprehensive to move, but there are a number of places available that can provide your loved one with the quality care that they deserve. Landmark Senior Living is one facility dedicated to being the best it can be. If you are interested and would like to learn more about assisted living facilities in West Springfield, please visit our website and reach out to our admissions team today.


Learn More Here!


Topics: Senior Tips

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